A Mental Diary

I have been drawn into a yet unknown world by a stranger. Is it a stranger in reality, in human form or a stranger only in my mind, dressed as a stranger only to become more acceptable to me? This stranger, this, whoever it is, is like a magnet, drawing me from my arguably normal small bowl where I fly around with rest of my world who all appear to wish to remain in the safe, secure place that we know and love.

And yet, deep inside me, I think, NO, I don’t think, I know, there is more but do I wish to search? Do I want to alienate those I have pledged my world to? And yet I know I want more, from time to time something within me stirs from time to time. I get this strange emotion that tells me I was made to develop beyond my current state.

I know I am made to soak in knowledge, to seek answers to the hidden question. Hidden because, as yet, I have not allowed them to surface. And yet they bubble and gurgle as if to remind me that I do not have the right to contain them, that I must feed them and allow them to develop and in turn to feed me with the learning and knowledge I so desperately desire.

I have always been what I am but if I think deeply about it, I am what is expected of me. Most of the time I feel that this is perfectly acceptable and at other times? Well, you know.

I know there is more out there, but I do not want to hurt those I have come to love. If they would enter this new world with me and explore the seemingly infinite possibilities and expand their thinking along with me then all would be well, but most are committed to what they know and don’t understand why. I don’t want to end my days and think, what if? Should I have? What might I have become?

I am going to explore but I am not going to try to convert others. I will expand my mind by writing of my experiences, my thoughts, my desires but I shall remain behind a mask for now. None of my closest shall know what I am feeling and to all intents and purposes, I am the same as always but I shall accumulate knowledge and experiences and feed my mind and soul.

The world of ‘writing’ can be used as a digital form of a personal diary but can also be my hiding place where I can explore the previously unknown and tread gently while absorbing what my person, my mind, my soul tells me I must absorb to survive and expand.

I’ve always kept a diary but that was just for me, now I will expose a persona to the world, through my writing but that’s OK, no one can see me as I can hide behind the trees and bushes known as words and knowledge.

I will become what I know I am meant to be, where I can help others to develop and help create a better world by educating those that until now have not dared to think beyond themselves or more likely they are not the same as me because, for most of them there is not a burning desire to discover what has been missing from their lives (or, ONE of those things that have been missing).

They have not tried to seek to learn, to experience, to ask the question, is there more out there? Will YOU dare to look for more?, Or will you stay in your small world until it’s time to go? Who knows, maybe when we have departed this world we discover what we might have been had we made that decision to explore our feelings.

Maybe, because we did not look to learn more and try to experience that which we really desired, we will go to a parallel world (a different world to where we might have gone to if we had only made that decision).

If you are yet not convinced or need a simple example where the majority of us (mammals, or even insects), stay in our bubble and only a few of us go outside it, read about this example where fish are used. read more……..